27 Bed bug bites, a white bum and a braid......i'm back!!!

I know I came back a week ago, but life seems to have been crazy!! I had a week's worth of washing and ironing to do, two weddings to attend and working full time, although dreading it, had to start at some point! So here I am, a week after "touch down in London town" and I think one more full nights sleep and I may have recovered from my holiday!! Typical Alice style...go on holiday and come back needing another to recover!! I pretty much spent the entire week drinking and lying in the sun nursing the hangover, thanks to the night before's extra curricular activities!!

I had a good week, and actually met some really wicked people...but it is fo sho, the last trashy holiday I go on! I was kind of annoyed that in total I spent about £800 on the whole holiday plus spending money and was in Malia for a week and all I have to show for it was 5 hangovers (I had a night off and slept for about 18 hours!) and a fake Mui Mui handbag. But my baby brother Joe is in China for a month and it is costing him the same amount, personally I know where id rather be, and sadly it isn't a Greek island that on the 1000 metre bar strip hosts a Mcdonalds....a Subway....Dominoes Pizza...KFC.....2 strip clubs and a tattoo shop called, wait for it.........Malia Ink!!!

Once we had arrived in our apartment, which did in fact resemble a YMCA hostel, that was so close to bar strip you could pretty much shout your order to the girl working in the nearest bar from our balcony, we found out that our airline had gone bust as we were pretty much flying over the M25...so we had got really far! Which at the time seemed like a bit of an adventure. But once I found out that what I thought was mosquito bites all over my legs were in fact bedbug bites, the thought of not getting home on the date we where due to travel on terrified me. Luckily for us we managed to board our overnight flight headed for London Gatwick a week after we took off.

Basically Malia is freshers week in the sun for horny English people, here are a few of my holiday snaps that don't have alcohol added in!!

Bon Voyage!!

Back in February when I was planning my summer holiday with Carly it seemed all the places I wanted to go began with the letter M!! Spring Break in Miami......Swimming with dolphins in Mexico....beautiful white beaches in Morocco.....fashion week in Milan. All of these places seemed full of excitement and where I wanted to spend my summer. So how is it that, tomorrow I will be boarding a flight heading for.......MALIA :( oh gaaawwwd, even now when I think of it I cringe!! It would be all very well if I was 17 and having my first girls holiday, but sadly I am 23, and well past the sell by date for these kind of places!!

So im all packed and ready to go!! Somehow I have managed to get a weeks worth of "stuff" in a hand luggage sized bag, because I refused to pay £45 extra to take a suitcase (ok, i'm a bit of a closet pikey!!) I've probably forgotten something very important as I just don't seem to have enough in my bag, especially when I already have a copies of Vogue, Elle, Elle Collections and iD plus a paperback copy of sex and city (as I still have not got round to reading it, even though I know the series word for word!) taking up a very large proportion of the space in my bag!!

Oh well, i've tried to prepare to make the week as bearable as possible...lots of reading to do, new playlist (which I have fittingly called 'are you gonna bang doe..um no thanks i'm not a skank and don't want to catch aids!!') and films on my ipod. This entertainment along with my Hawaiian Tropics factor 0 carrot oil should make it as fun as possible!!

Fingers crossed I come back alive. See you in a week with stories to tell!

ciao x x x

It's Acne's Resort 2011 collection Biatches!!

I started packing for holiday last night as I fly out on friday and i'm pretty busy in between. again, my suitcase is filled with gothic midnight colours.....basically black and grey. Why can I not bring myself to wear other colours and look summery?!! gaaahhd, I dont do floral and I don't do yellow!! While the majority of my clothes are Topshop, H & M and All saints finest, it looks like acne are rocking my un-summery vibes for their 2011 resort collection too!! Shame I cant afford any of it for my summer get away though!!

to tattoo or not to tattoo.....that is the question??

I know after my last one I said enough is enough, but I saw this tattoo and fell in love instantly!! I am the biggest user of a pinky promise, its a binding contract stronger than a paper one that gets chucked in a box under my bed!

Maybe when i'm back from holiday I will get a teenie bit more ink!!

While we are on the subject of David LaChapelle....

One of my favourite photographers, shooting one of my favourite women.....Its gonna make me happy isn't it!!!

look how happy £7.00 can make me!!

Yesterday, £2.00 bought me 4 rolls of patterned sellotape. For those who know me well, they are aware that I love to collage!! Normally involving lots of masking tape, graph paper, black and white photos, string, stained and dusty smelling pages from old book.....mmmmmm, i'm getting a bit over excited!! So to add to my massive box of junk that I use for making my work with, I am now adding these rolls of tape! Personally I like the blue one with the apples on best, especially the apples that have been bitten into!!! Now I just need to find something to stick down, which leads to my most recent £5.00 purchase!! To my unbelievable excitement I found one copy of i-D in my local newsagents, to most this may not sound like a triumph, but living in Alresford generally means that you struggle to even buy Vogue and have to mission out of town to reality to stock up on decent magazines that are not farming, fishing or horse related. So when to my delight I saw the logo winking at me from between "Tractor Monthly" and "Horse and Hound" I felt it was fate and destiny all rolled into one and pounced on it straight away!!

To my delight, the interview right at the back of this edition is one with photographer David LaChapelle, who's work I love and who I have admired for ages. Here he gives a really down to earth insight into himself and his work. He also talks about a recent shoot that he did with Daphne Guinness for Maybach car manufacturers , A shoot that I had seen and was really intrigued in due to the context of the shoot, the contrast between model, car and setting is huge, but each aspect somehow ties in with each other for a really successful outcome.

Here are some images I saw towards the end of last year from behind the scenes at the shoot, as well as a few of the final images.

me plus one equals....one??

All of a sudden anything that I am invited to has become an invitation for Alice plus one. I don't have a plus one, so what do I do??

Do I take along one of my many "boyfriends"?? When I say boyfriends I mean, a guy...who is my friend...who likes men just as much as me and is on first name terms with the sales assistants in selfridges and who has perfectly groomed eyebrows. I mean, what woman wouldn't want to turn up to an event with a polite, well dressed and groomed man on their side complimenting every female in the room on their choice of accessories. But the problem comes when you hear people's whispers, talking about my quite clearly homosexual partner and them thinking that Im the only one in the room that isnt aware of his blatant sexuality and that due to this our faux relationship is doomed.

Alternatively, I can always take one of my beer drinking, rugby playing, lynx smelling guy friends that don't understand the benefits of threading over waxing, unless it involves one of their friends pubic hair when passed out after a night out. My guy friends are an essential factor in my life and not just because they are always willing to get me steaming drunk and put oil in my car, but because I have always needed male company ever since I was little. But are these guys really a good option as a stand in plus one? Yes they are always fun to be with and even though they may not be quite as well dressed the majority of them scrub up pretty well. But do I want to be there when they have had five jagerbombs too many and are hitting on the bride telling her that "the groom will never need find out"?

Im not a bitter and twisted, men hating single. Im pretty much of the opinion that if you cant attend an event without a plus one, then you need to re-evaluate your life. Your clearly not coping!! But my problem is with an up and coming birthday I, along with my non-existant plus one have been invited to. It is the birthday of someone very important in my life (and id like to think that she feels the same way!!) so i'm not going to miss it for the world. Here comes the but....I won't know anyone else there, its a free bar and a free hotel, motel holiday inn room so I basically need someone to stand at the bar with (maybe hold back my hair after I puke up the free alcohol) and then spoon me in the free bed...it would be rude not to!!! Who the hell do I try to persuade to come with me, someone that wont try to bed a guest, or mince around the dance floor to basshunter??!!

Any offers, apply within!!

It's not big, it's not clever....but sometimes it is pretty damn cool

blondes have more fun....but do pinks do it better??

So after having blue rinses for the last few months to make my hair some shade of blue, grey or purple, depending on how lady gaga im feeling, i'm over it now and want a change. Two major factors have made me decide that ice cream pastel coloured hair is a good idea, Katy Perry's 'California Girls' video where she is rocking out in a bright blue wig and a sort of purply coloured one, I love KP and in my opinion that girl can do no wrong!! Also the amazingly beautiful girl I saw at guildford train station on Saturday night not only was she wearing some delish black and white patent brogues but also had a to die for pink barnett!! I loved her washed out pastel pink hair so much as it was obvious that she was blonde, but she had just had a pink rinse. Either this, or she was blonde and had dyed it bright pink but it was slowly washing out, either way it was fierce and I want a slice of the pink action!!! I know that I'm not after the Perez Hilton, Lily Allen, pink kind of colour and that it needs to be a lot lighter, but whether to go for all over colour, tye dye or just the ends of my hair will be something I need to decide on before, in the words of Nerissa "I get my weave did!!!"

hola chica's...

I'm baaaaccckk!!! Nope I have not been away, although last weekend I had a last minute spontaneous trip to devon with Hannah....tres amazing!!! The weather was de-freakin-lish...... 30 degrees all weekend so we just lay on the beach during the day and had some serious tanning action going on!! Although I was very good (well kind of) at topping up my spf's during the day, ensuring my skin didn't get too ruined by the beautiful english sunshine, I did neglect my lips which managed to get burned..sad times!! I woke up monday morning looking like a mixture of the bride of wildenstein and the nutty professor mid transformation!! My lips were HUGE, so big I couldn't talk properly and I kept dribbling...always the attractive one me!! Luckily after lots of ice lollies and about 8 hours they had shrunk small enough to leave the house. This is a lesson to all.....USE PROTECTION AT ALL TIMES skin damage and sunburn is never in vogue!!!